Ep. 153 The Broken Heart: Healing the Physical and Emotional Symptoms of Grief with Michelle Peticolas

Learn about the impact of grief on the body and the emotions and steps you can take to heal your grief when you are ready.

 

 

In this episode I share an interview with filmmaker and grief counselor Michelle Peticolas who talks about the 3-part film series she created, which is available for use in your community. She also shares her tips on healing from grief and thriving after loss.

Learn more about Michelle’s work here.

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

A HUGE THANK YOU to my latest contributors on Patreon.com/eolu: Christina Ensminger and Jackie Yeager! I appreciate your generosity and your support so much. If you’d like to join our team go to Patreon.com/eolu to learn how to sign up for as little as $1 per month and receive special bonuses just for patrons!

If you missed last week’s webinar with Suzanne O’Brien on “End-of-Life Doula Training for Caregivers and Volunteers” you can still listen to the replay. Go to www.eoluniversity.com/obrien to register and you’ll receive the link to listen in. It was fantastic and I’m sure you will enjoy it!

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

Michelle Peticolas begins the interview by telling us about her series of 3 films, The Secrets of Life and Death, which deal with facing death, being present with the dying, and grief. These films are now available for public showing and you can go to her website to learn more: www.secretsoflifeanddeath.com

Next we talk about grief and cover the following topics:

• People in our culture struggle with grief because we have been taught to avoid it
• Grief triggers both an emotional and a physical response and illness can result from grief that is not addressed
• The brain needs time to rewire its circuits after the death of a loved one
• The medical system usually offers drugs for grief symptoms, which don’t help grief actually heal
• Grief support groups may contribute to ongoing trauma for grievers by stimulating the release of stress hormones over and over again as stories are told and retold
• Michelle’s 3 tips for thriving after loss:
  • Allow the feelings to arise and learn how to listen to the body
  • Savor support and reach out for connection with others; allow your loved one to love you through others
  • Shift perception of loss and recognize that love and joy are still present even though the person you’ve loved is not physically present

Tune in next week for another new episode. If you enjoy this content please share with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes.

Until the next time …

Face Your Fear         BE Ready          Love Your Life

Ep. 151 How to Include Children in Funerals (and Why You Should)

Learn about some helpful resources for talking to children about death and funerals.

In this episode I’ll share some tips from a recent panel discussion I watched about Youth and Funerals. It’s important to teach adults how to talk to children about death and how to invite them to participate in mourning rituals when a loved one dies.

Get the eBook from Funeral Services Foundation here.

Watch the video:

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

On July 24th I’ll be hosting Suzanne O’Brien RN for a free webinar titled: “End-of-Life Doula Training for Caregivers and Volunteers.” Join us if you’re interested in learning more about the work of end-of-life doulas to see if further training might be of interest to you. You’ll learn valuable skills for caring for those at the end of life no matter what type of work you do. Sign up at the link below:

Doula Training Webinar

Thank you to my new supporter on Patreon.com/eolu: Joshua Zoppi! I’m grateful to you and all the other patrons who are helping to keep this podcast and the EOLU Interview Series on the air! If you’d like to join the team (and get special bonuses) go to Patreon.com/eolu to learn more and sign up (for as little as $1 per month!)

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

There’s no denying the importance of teaching children about death and dying from a young age to help them have a healthy attitude toward a normal part of life. Part of that teaching includes involving them in funerals for loved ones and providing appropriate support and information during the process.

In this episode I’ll talk about:

• My own story of attending a funeral without understanding anything about death or knowing what to expect at a funeral
• How I taught my children about death and funerals
• The panel discussion from the Nation Funeral Directors’ Association Leadership Conference that inspired me to talk about this subject (speakers I watched and quote from include Joe Primo of Good Grief, Vicky Jay of National Alliance for Grieving Children, and Brad Speaks from Speaks Family Legacy Chapel)
• Why children should be taught about funerals and allowed to participate
• Why we need to teach parents how to include their children in funerals and support them in the process
• Ways to involve children in funerals:
  • Create a music playlist for the funeral
  • Help make a poster board of photos of the loved one
  • Draw pictures of the loved one
  • Tell a story or sing a song for the funeral
  • Be a pallbearer or escort
  • Place flowers on the casket or urn or in the grave
• Books:
  • Talking to Children About Death & Dying
  • What Do We Tell the Children

Links from this episode:

Ep. 140: The Silent Grief of a Young Child with Rachel Stephenson

Good Grief Organization

National Alliance for Grieving Children

Funeral Service Foundation

There will be a new episode every Monday! If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes.

Until next week …

Face Your Fear         BE Ready           Love Your Life

 

Ep. 143 Lessons from “the Other Side” Through Channeled Writing with Matt McKay PhD

Learn how a skeptical psychologist began receiving messages through channeled writing from his son after his tragic death.

In this episode I share an interview with psychologist Matt McKay PhD who tells how he began receiving messages after his son’s death that taught him about spirituality here in this life and in the afterlife. Matt shares his suggestions for communicating with those “on the other side.”

Click here to learn more about Dr. McKay’s work and his book Seeking Jordan: How I Learned the Truth About Death and the Invisible Universe.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

This episode is sponsored by my book: What Really Matters: 7 Lessons for Living from the Stories of the Dying. I share with you how I got inspired to write the book, why it took a long time to finally create it, and what you can learn from reading this book.

You can get it here on Amazon in print, ebook and audiobook formats!

THANK YOU to all of my current patrons on Patreon.com/eolu! Your support means everything to me! If you’d like to join in and help support this podcast for as little as $1 per month go to Patreon.com/eolu and check it out!

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

In this presentation clinical psychologist Dr. Matthew McKay will share the story of his son Jordan and how he sought to connect with Jordan after his death. He will teach us how to communicate with our own loved ones who have died.

Dr. McKay offers these suggestions for starting your own practice of channeled writing:

• Get grounded and centered
• Have a physical object that connects you to your loved one
• Use a candle or other visible object to focus your gaze
• Become more receptive bu using mindfulness, self-hypnosis, breathing techniques
• Have a special notebook handy
• Write down a question for the loved one you would like to communicate with
• Wait for words to form in your mind and immediately write down anything that arises, without judging or questioning it
• Acknowledge your doubt but don’t be paralyzed by it

Remember there will be a new episode every Monday! If you enjoy this content please consider leaving a review on iTunes and sharing it with others.

Until next week …

Face Your Fear         BE Ready         Love Your Life

Ep. 141 Travel to Heal the Grief of War: Tips for a Pilgrimage

Learn how to create a pilgrimage to help you process the grief that follows the trauma of war.

 

In this episode I share my own story of traveling to Normandy to retrace my father’s footsteps during World War II. This was part of a grief pilgrimage I took to help me understand the factors that led to my father’s suicide many years later.

Read the companion blog here.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

You can still sign up for A Year of Reading Dangerously and join our online reading group for 2018. Read more about it here.

This episode is sponsored by my supporters on Patreon.com/eolu who contribute a little each month to keep this podcast and the End-of-Life University Interview Series on the air! Thank you to my latest patron: Martha Johnson! I appreciate your support more than you can ever know. To become a patron go to Patreon.com/eolu and receive some special bonuses.

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

One year ago I featured a special 8-part series titled Suicide: Surviving the Aftermath about my own journey of healing following my father’s suicide death. This week is the anniversary of his death and I’m focusing in today on part of my journey.

(You can hear the entire Suicide Series at: www.eoluniversity.com/suicideseries )

In order to learn more about the impact of World War II on Dad’s emotional health I took a grief pilgrimage to Normandy to explore the location of some of his traumatic experiences. That trip was a powerful experience that helped me understand Dad better and grasp the burden of grief and guilt that he had carried with him since the war.

Here are my tips for anyone who wants to plan a similar pilgrimage (listen to the episode for more of the details and to hear how my own journey unfolded):

• Do your homework before you go: Learn all you can about your loved one’s wartime travels so you can choose the places you’ll visit carefully. Check the National Archives for information and military records for your loved one.
• Visit a museum: You’ll learn a lot of history in a short time by starting your journey at a war memorial museum. You’ll find some of the recommended World War II museums in Europe listed here.
• Enlist a guide: A local guide with a solid knowledge of history and the area can save you time and show you places you wouldn’t have discovered on your own. Find a guide that speaks your language fluently and is willing to go to the places on your list.
• Meet a local: One of the benefits of traveling to the location of the war is the opportunity to meet people who personally experienced the war and its aftermath (or their offspring.) Local citizens will have stories to share that will help broaden your perspective.
• Take your time: The emotions that arise on grief pilgrimage are intense so allow time for reflection and processing. Don’t rush through the sites but stop and take it all in. Let your feelings rise to the surface so that they can be witnessed.
• Participate in a ritual: Rituals provide a powerful opportunity for healing during grief travel experiences so plan ahead to create your own special ceremony. Or you may have a chance to take part in a scheduled ceremony with other travelers as I did when I visited the Normandy American Cemetery. 

Learn more about how travel helped my grief by listening here.

Tune in each Monday for a new episode and if you enjoy this content please consider leaving a review on iTunes!

Until next week remember ….

Face Your Fear             BE Ready             Love Your Life

 

Ep. 140 The Silent Grief of A Young Child After the Death of a Parent with Rachel Stephenson

Learn about the impact of unspoken grief on a young child after the death of a parent and why we need to do a better job addressing grief with children.

In this episode I share an interview with Rachel Stephenson, an author, speaker and educator, who shares the story of her mother’s sudden death when she was 5 years old and the lasting impact it has had on her and the lives of her family. Rachel’s TEDx Talk on the same subject has attracted a lot of attention and points out why we need to address grief and loss with children.

Watch Rachel’s TEDx Talk:

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Sign up for A Year of Reading Dangerously reading group here and join us to read books about death, dying and the afterlife all year long!

Tune in to the 4-part webinar series Demystifying Palliative Care here and learn all about the palliative care team members and their roles.

This episode is being sponsored by Gia’s Healing Chants Album – you’ll hear a selection at the very end of this episode. Click here to learn more and purchase the album.

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

My guest is Rachel Stephenson, whose blog “Dear Dead Mother” and recent TEDx Talk have captured a great deal of attention online. We explore the process of grief, particularly for a young child who loses a parent, and how childhood grief differs from that experienced by adults. Rachel is passionate about opening the conversation about grief and loss.

In this interview you will learn:

• the dangers of grieving in silence as perceived by Rachel
• the experience of suddenly losing a parent through the eyes of a young child
• what needs to change in our societal conversation about death
• how to talk to a child about a death in the family

Rachel Stephenson is a writer, speaker, educator, and university administrator who is living fully with grief. She is currently the University Director of the CUNY Service Corps at The City University of New York, and her professional experience includes designing and implementing innovative experiential education programs in civic engagement, workforce development, and youth development; writing interactive curricula; facilitating/emceeing professional development workshops and special events; fundraising; and more at a range of educational institutions and non-profit organizations in New York City. She is married with three daughters. Though Rachel has not spent her career in the world of grief and bereavement, she has spent her life thinking about her own grief – her mother died suddenly when Rachel was five – and knowing that she would one day revisit her own story to connect with others about navigating loss.

Website: https://deardeadmother.wordpress.com/

Remember to tune in every Monday for a new episode and please consider leaving a review on iTunes!

Until next time:

Face Your Fear            BE Ready            Love Your Life