End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 159 How to Make Difficult End-of-Life Decisions for a Loved One

PodcastDecisions

 

 

purposequestionIn this episode I share my thoughts on how to approach the very difficult task of making an end-of-life decision about the treatment a loved one should receive. Many people are called upon to be decision-makers in these challenging situations and this episode serves as a guide for choosing the best option for someone we love. Download the handout below:

Guide for Difficult EOL Decisions

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

This episode is sponsored by Suzanne O’Brien and her training program for caring for others at the end of life at Doulagivers.com and by your generous donations on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Join the team and receive special bonuses as a thank-you!

Thank you to all of my patrons and sponsors! Your support means everything to me!

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

Download the handout here:

Guide for Difficult EOL Decisions

Every day families are called upon to make nearly impossible decisions about the type of care a loved one should receive as they near the end of life. Here are some suggestions for how to navigate this challenging situation when there is no advance directive available for guidance:

  • Gather medical information from all healthcare providers involved in care
  • Ask direct questions:
    • What is the diagnosis and what complications have occurred?
    • What is the effectiveness of the recommended treatment?
    • What are the chances for recovery or improvement?
    • Are there side effects from the treatment or will it cause additional suffering?
    • What will happen if treatment is stopped?
    • What would you do if this were your loved one?
  • Get expert advice and guidance from a palliative care team if available in your hospital
  • Remember past conversations with your loved one that might give you clues as to his or her preferences for the end of life
  • Consider the statistics that most Americans prefer to die at home and most do not want aggressive treatment to prolong life in the face of an incurable condition
  • Ask your loved one for guidance by expressing your concern and your desire to make the best decision. Even though your loved one cannot verbalize, they can hear you – listen for any intuitive or “felt” guidance that might come to you about the best choice to make.
  • Be gentle with yourself and recognize that you have done your best in a challenging situation
  • Seek support from others outside your family

Tune in next week for another episode! Share this content with others who might it helpful and consider leaving a review on iTunes.

Until next time …

Face Your Fear        BE Ready         Love Your Life

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End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 155 Writing Your Heart Will on a Mexican Retreat with Reena Lazar and Michelle Pante

Learn how to leave a written legacy for your loved ones and enjoy a retreat in Mexico in the process!

PodcastLazarPante

 

Michelle-ReenaIn this episode I share a conversation with  Michelle Pante and Reena Lazar of Willow, a company that helps people express their personal and healthcare wishes for the future and leave a legacy of the heart for the ones they love. They will share their stories and tell us about an innovative retreat to Mexico they are planning this year – just in time for Dia de los Muertos!

Learn more at willoweol.com!

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

You can still join our online reading group A Year of Reading Dangerously if you’re interested in reading a book each month about death, dying and the afterlife. Register here if you want to receive email notifications each month about the latest book selection. Go here to see the entire book list for 2018.

Thanks as always to my supporters on Patreon.com/eolu! Your monthly donations help keep this podcast and the EOLU interview series on the air. This week my thanks goes out to Suzanne O’Brien and Doulagivers.com for their ongoing support over the past year-and-a-half. If you’d like to join our team sign up at Patreon.com/eolu and receive special bonuses.

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

Today my guests Michelle Pante and Reena Lazar tell us how they started their company Willow and the services they provide to their clients. We talk about:

  • How the two of them decided to team up and create a vision together
  • How Reena uses her conflict resolution training in the work she does now helping people with end-of-life planning
  • Why they chose the name Willow for their company
  • What are “love letters” and “heart wills” and why they encourage people to create them
  • Tips for writing your own heart will
  • Details of the upcoming retreat in Mexico that includes a celebration of the Day of the Dead (you can still get the “early bird” discount of $200 off the price of the retreat if you sign up by August 20th and use the code EOLU)

Learn more about Reena, Michelle and Willow at willoweol.com!

Remember there will be a new episode every Monday – if you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes!

Until next week …

Face Your Fear            BE Ready            Love Your Life

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End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 139 The One Question You Need to Answer to Jumpstart Your EOL Planning

Learn how answering just one question can simplify your decision-making process for end-of-life planning.

PodcastEOLquestion

slide01In this episode I’ll share how one simple question helped clarify my Mom’s end-of-life wishes and why I recommend starting there to put your own advance care planning into the proper perspective. This episode is sponsored by my course “Step-by-Step Roadmap for End-of-Life Planning.

Learn more about the course here.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

You can still join my online reading group for 2018 “A Year of Reading Dangerously” and read a book each month on death, dying and the afterlife. Sign up here.

Thank you to all of my supporters on Patreon.com/eolu! Your donations mean a lot to me!

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

Putting our wishes for the end of life into writing is more complicated than it seems. We can easily get lost when we start to consider all of the options available and make decisions about what we do or do not want for care during out last days.

When my mother was trying to complete her living we finally found a simple way to clarify what really mattered to her. I asked her to tell me how she wanted it to be when she was taking her last breaths in this life. And she answered right away: “I want to be in my own home with you taking care of me.”

That one question changed everything for us and her answer guided all of the decisions that we made together as a family for the next five years before her death. I have spent time thinking about the one question myself and it is clear to me that the only thing that will really matter to me when I am ready to die is love. I will want to be as near as possible to the people I love.

You can use this one question too:

  • Imagine your last moments of life: how do you want it to be?
  • Describe what you see in positive terms first: Who is with you? Where are you?
  • Keep it simple to avoid being overwhelmed. Just a few details are all you need to describe.
  • Finally add your 2-3 absolute DO-NOT’s to the picture. What do you definitely NOT want to have happen during your last moments? Again – limit the number to those things you feel strongest about. Your family will remember 2-3 requests but not 10-12.

Start talking now about your positive vision for your final moments and let your family know what you envision. When you engage them in your vision they are more likely to help  you create it. They will have had time to think about your vision and to imagine themselves being part of it.

No matter what start thinking about the end of life now. It’s never too soon to get your plans in order! Consider signing up for the Step-by-Step Roadmap for End-of-Life Planning if you’d like to have a doctor by your side as you make decisions for yourself!

Other related episodes you might like to hear:

Ep. 105: Choosing the Right Healthcare Proxy

Ep. 103: The Truth About CPR: Exposing the Myths

Ep. 81: Let’s Talk About It: The Conversation Project with Dr. Jessica McCannon

Remember there will be a new episode next Monday! If you enjoy this content please consider leaving a review on iTunes (Thanks!!).

Until next time …

Face Your Fear            BE Ready             Love Your Life

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End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 136 Art and Conversations About Death with Molly Stuart

Learn about Molly’s innovative workshops on end-of-life planning that utilize art projects to inspire deep conversations.

PodcastStuart

MollyIn this episode I share an interview with Molly Stuart who is a lawyer, artist, chaplain and hospice volunteer. She teaches a wonderful workshop on end-of-life planning that includes art to help people uncover their deepest values and concerns.

Learn more about Molly’s work here.

Watch this episode on YouTube to view Molly’s slides:

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

decisionsignThe month of April features National Healthcare Decisions Day and in honor of that event I am sharing the 10-day S.M.A.R.T. Decisions Challenge – a free challenge that will help you get your end-of-life planning done with guidance along the way by email.

Click here to learn more and sign up.

 

You can still sign up for A Year of Reading Dangerously if you’d like to read one book a month with us about death and dying! Sign up here.

Slide01

Get the Teaching Guidelines for a Death & Dying Class and you’ll be on the list to hear about upcoming Work Groups and a Mastermind Group for Death and Dying Class teachers. Download the guidelines here.

 

Thank you to my latest supporter on Patreon.com/eolu: Kathy Lynch and thanks also to Cathy Duke for increasing your pledge! I’m so grateful for your contributions!

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

My guest Molly Stuart shares information about her innovative end-of-life planning workshops. We discuss:

  • How she got interested in teaching about end of life issues
  • The complicated nature of advance care planning
  • The 3-part workshop she designed, which includes:
    • Practical end-of-life medical and legal issues
    • Emotional aspects of living while knowing you’re going to die
    • Transformation and legacy
  • How Molly uses art to address:
    • Loss
    • Meaning
    • Regret
    • Legacy
  • The creative projects her students create as part of her workshops
  • How to create a legacy art project after the death of a loved one

Remember to tune in every Monday for a new episode and if you enjoy this content please subscribe and leave a review on iTunes!

Until next time …

Face Your Fear         BE Ready            Love Your Life

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Aging, End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 135 How to Practice Minimalism at the End of Life

Learn how a minimalist lifestyle can help you find more joy and meaning as you approach the later days of life.

podcastminimalism

minimalistIn this episode I share my thoughts on why the minimalist lifestyle could help us avoid excessive and unnecessary medical treatment at the end of life. In addition there are many other benefits to living simply and with “less is more” as our goal when we get older.

Read the companion blog here.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

You can still join A Year of Reading Dangerously and confront your own discomfort about death, dying and the afterlife by reading one “dangerous” book each month in 2018! Sign up here!

Slide01

Get the Teaching Guidelines for a Death & Dying Class and you’ll be on the mailing list to learn about the next class on creating your own course in death and dying coming up soon! Sign up and download here!

 

I’m so grateful this week to my latest supporters on Patreon.com/eolu! Thank you so much to Glenda Myles, Malynda Cress, Karen Britton, Mila Martin, and Tami Yinger! Your generosity means so much to me! If you want to join them go to Patreon.com/eolu to learn more about the bonuses you’ll receive for signing up!

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

The minimalist movement is all the rage right now among millennials and it has a lot of positive aspects we can learn from. The emphasis is on living simply, with less material possessions in order to have more joy and freedom in life. This lifestyle could serve us well as we approach our own end of life. Here are some ways to live more simply:

  • Clear out possessions that you no longer use or cherish. This idea has been described in a recent blog and book about the Swedish practice of “death-cleaning.”
  • Comes to terms with mortality. Recognize that life is finite and death is inevitable, therefore it is important to be intentional about how you live each moment in every day, including what kind of healthcare you choose.
  • Take control over your healthcare – be proactive and question recommendations in these areas:
    • Medications – Ask if the drugs you are taking are still necessary, if they could be causing side effects or creating negative interactions with one another. Ask if you can try reducing dosages or the number of medications you are being prescribed. Many seniors are taking at least 5 prescription medications according to studies.
    • Annual examstudies show that the annual physical exam wastes money and time and might even be harmful. Ask if you can decrease to one physical every 3 yeats.
    • Health screenings – Over age 70 it is no longer recommended that you have the following screening tests: colonoscopy, mammogram, PSA, pap smear. Studies show that excessive screening can lead to false positive results, over-diagnosis and harmful over-treatment.
  • Plan ahead and be prepared in order to minimize complications in these areas:
    • Aging – How will you manage the physical changes of later life? Who will help you?
    • Housing – Where will you live if you can’t stay in your own home?
    • Terminal care – What type of treatment do you want to receive at the end of life and for how long?
    • After-death care – What type of funeral and burial do you want to have?
  • Learn to live in the moment – so you can enjoy all of life.
  • Focus on what really matters – to help you eliminate the things you no longer care about.
  • Find purpose and meaning by living simply and with intention for the rest of your days.

Remember to tune in every Monday for a new episode! If you enjoy this content please subscribe and leave a review on iTunes!

Until next week remember …

Face Your Fear           BE Ready          Love Your Life

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