End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 220 What to Do When Someone Dies: How Lantern Shows the Way with Liz Eddy

Learn about a new online resource for people dealing with the death of a loved one.

podcasteddy

My guest Liz Eddy is the founder of Lantern.co, an innovative online resource for navigating the stressful and painful days after the death of a loved one. She shares how she was inspired to create this site and how it benefits those in need of information and guidance with all of the decisions that must be made after a death. Learn more at the website:

www.lantern.co

Listen here:

 

This episode includes:

  • How and why Liz created Lantern
  • How one person can make a big difference in the world
  • Why a “one-stop” resource site is valuable after the death of a loved one
  • How Lantern can help people make more affordable choices after a death
  • Educational resources available on Lantern
  • How technology can help people avoid being taken advantage of by vendors
  • How people connect with Lantern during a time of need
  • The “big vision” for Lantern in the future

Links mentioned in this episode:

  • If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on Patreon.com/eolu,especially my newest Patron David Stubbers, your contributions mean everything to me!

 

End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 215 Death’s Big Tent: Making Room for Every Point of View

Learn how culture affects the way people view, talk about, and plan for death and dying. 

PodcastBigTent

As we work to promote death awareness and death positivity in society it is important to remember cultural differences that may influence how others view the end of life. We need to have room in our approach for diverse belief systems and traditions in order to best meet the needs of all members of the communities we serve. 

Listen here.

 

This episode includes:

  • The difference between individualistic and collectivistic perspectives on life
  • Cultural reasons why discussing illness and death is frowned upon
  • Different styles of end-of-life decision-making
  • Reasons why minority groups have low rates of completion of advance directives
    • Distrust of healthcare system
    • Past or current healthcare disparities
    • Cultural perspectives on death and suffering (e.g. aggressive treatment equates with love)
    • Spiritual perspectives (e.g. only God determines the end of life)
    • Family dynamics
  • Culturally sensitive approach
    • Be open-minded
    • Be aware of potential cultural/religious/societal differences
    • Consider alternative discussions with family members rather than patient
    • Ask what a “good end of life” looks like to them
    • Ask what hope means to them
  • Sources of hope

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on Patreon.com/eolu, your contributions mean  everything to me!

End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 213 Making Sense of Death by Planning Ahead with Reena Lazar and Michelle Pante

Learn about educational planning tools that are available for end-of-life navigators and teachers to use with their clients.

PodcastLazarPante2

This week I welcome back to the podcast Reena Lazar and Michelle Pante of WillowEOL.com who will tell us about the free tools they offer to assist with end-of-life planning and a new workbook they have created (available to purchase). We will also discuss the importance of end-of-life planning and sharing our wishes with our loved ones. Learn more at their website:

www.WillowEOL.com

Listen here:

 

This episode includes:

  • Why people should think in advance about the legacy they will leave behind
  • How to create a meaningful legacy for your loved ones
  • What steps baby boomers need to take now to be better prepared for the end of life
  • 9 things to include in an end-of-life plan
  • Free tools for planning ahead available at WillowEol.com
  • A helpful end-of-life planning workbook available for teachers and navigators to use with their clients
  • How to work with Reena and Michelle at a retreat, workshop or speaking event

Your mortality is an opportunity in disguise.

-WillowEOL.com

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on Patreon.com/eolu, especially my new supporter Kathy Breakwellyour contribution means  everything to me!

 

End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 208 Nothing to Do: A Film About Everyday Miracles at the End of Life with Mike Kravinsky

Learn about a feature film that traces the story of a family’s conflict and ultimate resolution as their father reaches the end of life.

PodcastKravinsky

My guest Mike Kravinsky is the writer and director of this feature film that was inspired by his own father’s end-of-life journey. He discusses why and how he created the film and the impact it is having on viewers across the country. You can view this award-winning film, Nothing To Do, on Amazon Prime, iTunes and the Dish Network and it is also available for borrowing from local libraries.

Connect with the film on Facebook.

nothingtodocover

View the film here.

Listen to the podcast:

 

This episode includes:

  • The growing interest in feature films that focus on death and grief
  • How nothing prepares a person for caring for a loved one at the end of life
  • How this film accurately portrays family tension and conflict when dealing with end-of-life decisions
  • The importance of having conversations about these decisions earlier during the end-of-life process
  • How Mike turned real life experiences into a fictional movie
  • What some end-of-life films get wrong about the dying process, which consists of a great deal of waiting and uncertainty
  • How the film portrays the beauty of dying at home with hospice care
  • How being present for the death of a loved one helps us with our own fears of death
  • Why Nothing to Do would be a great choice for an end-of-life film night

Links mentioned in this episode:

Art of Dying Author Series_ September 6, 2019 7-8_30 pm

Join me in New York in September!!

 

 

 

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on Patreon.com/eolu, especially my new patron, Jean Berman–your contribution means  everything to me!

 

End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 204 The Death Deck: Making it Fun to Talk About Death with Lisa Pahl, LCSW and Lori LoCicero

Learn about a popular new card game that helps people open up about death and have fun while they’re doing it.

PodcastLisaLori

My guests are hospice social worker Lisa Pahl and writer Lori LoCicero. They will share with us how they met and teamed up to create the fun new card game: The Death Deck. Learn all about the game and how you might start incorporating it into your work and family conversations. Learn more about the game at the website:

http://thedeathdeck.com

DD BOX

Get The Death Deck.

Listen here.

 

This interview includes:

  • How this writer and hospice social worker teamed up to create a game about death
  • How to use The Death Deck
  • Why games are helpful to support conversations about the end of life
  • How The Death Deck differs from other conversation games
  • Why The Deck Deck appeals to unique audiences like college students
  • How to use the game to augment special conversations with loved ones about death and dying
  • Where to learn more and get the game

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on Patreon.com/eolu – your contributions mean everything to me!

 

End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 202 Conversation Skills You Need for a Successful End-of-Life Discussion

Learn some techniques and tools for having a more effective and productive conversation about end-of-life issues.

PodcastConversation

In this solo episode I’ll share some great information I’ve been learning recently about the skills necessary to have difficult conversations with the people we love. I hope this will be helpful to you too. You can download a Blueprint for End-of-Life Conversations at the link below:

Blueprint for End-of-Life Conversations

Listen here:

 

This episode includes:

  • How to prepare for an end-of-life conversation and why it’s important to be prepared
  • Suggestions for adjusting your mindset before a conversation
  • Choosing the best setting for an end-of-life discussion
  • Deciding who should attend the discussion
  • Specific tools for moving a conversation forward and how to practice them
    • Zooming
    • Clarification
    • Relating
    • Reflecting
    • Reframing
    • Storytelling
    • Re-centering
  • How to structure your conversation
  • When to regroup and change your strategy

Links mentioned in this episode:

If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes! Thanks again to all supporters on Patreon.com/eolu, especially my newest Patrons: Laurie Timmer and Jane Whitlock!

End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 175 The Highlights of 2018 and What’s New for Next Year!

Learn about the best of EOLU in 2018 and how to catch up if you missed any of these events!

PodcastNewYear

“Death Education for Everyone” was the theme for 2018 and we’ll review all the great educational content that was provided in the past year. It’s not too late to listen in on the best webinars and interviews of the year before we get started on a brand new season of EOLU! Check out the links for the events you’ve missed in the description below.

Happy New Year to each and every one of you!

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

BIG NEWS!! Starting in 2019 the EOLU Interview Series will merge with the EOLU Podcast – so all the great interviews you are used to hearing on the interview series will now be available as podcast episodes. This means you can subscribe to the podcast and listen to the interviews on your phone while you are on the go! In addition you’ll be able to hear the solo episodes (like this one) where I share my wisdom, inspiration, and ideas for embracing the end of life and living fully today.

You can subscribe to the podcast at one of the following links (whichever podcast app you use):

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts (Click “View in iTunes” then click “Subscribe”)

Subscribe on Stitcher

You can also listen to the episodes at www.eolupodcast.com.

Thanks for all of your support in 2018! I appreciate you for listening in and encouraging me to keep going. And I’m especially grateful to those of you who have become patrons on my donation page at Patreon.com/eolu: you make my heart sing!

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

2018 has been a wonderful year for EOLU that began with a goal of supporting “Death Education for Everyone.”  In support of that goal the following programs were created:

  • A Year of Reading Dangerously online reading group; we’ve read one book a month this year and held 9 live book discussions with authors of the books in attendance. Nearly 1,000 readers from around the world have joined together to read the same book at the same time. We’ve all learned a lot about death, dying and the afterlife and have had fun in the process!

View the books and discussions from 2018 here.

Join the reading group here (if you haven’t already signed up!)

  • Teaching Guidelines for a Death and Dying Class – this free pdf was made available to hundreds of people interested in teaching about end of life issues. You can still get the Guidelines here.
  • Workshop on How to Teach a Death and Dying Class successfully helped launch dozens of classes around the country and culminated in 5 students creating online webinars, which you can view here.
  • Promoted Cathy Zheutlin’s new film “Living While Dying” as an excellent tool for teaching community members about death and dying. Learn more about the film here.
  • Co-hosted 3 teaching webinars that were very well received. If you missed these there’s still time to watch:
    • “End-of-Life Doula Training for Caregivers and Volunteers” with Suzanne O’Brien of Doulagivers.com. View the webinar here.
    • “Bridge Time: The Consequences of Change” with Jane Barton of Cardinalife.com; she talks about how caregivers can become more resilient in the face of change. View the webinar here.
    • “Collaborative Care for Caregivers: How to Ask for Help” with Jane Barton. View the webinar here.

The “best” interviews of 2018 (though they were all fantastic!);

  • Hansa Bergwall talking about the WeCroak app he created for smart phones that reminds you of your mortality 5 times a day.  Listen here.
  • Dr. Bob Uslander who has pioneered a new concierge model of end-of-life care, which could be a game-changer for the medical system and how we help patients navigate their last days. Listen here.
  • Alua Arthur of Going With Grace talked about the legal issues that can occur after death and how to prepare for them in advance. Listen here.
  • Deanna Cochran RN and Suzanne O’Brien RN both talked about the creation of the End-of-Life Doula Council by the NHPCO and the National End-of-Life Doula Alliance, which now provides certification training for doulas. Listen to Deanna’s interview here. Listen to Suzanne’s interview here.
  • Cheryl Jones of Good Grief Radio Show talked about end-of-life issues and the LGBTQ community. Listen here.
  • Jonathan Bartels RN discussed The Medical Pause which he initiated to show respect after the death of a patient at his hospital and has now spread around the world! Listen here.
  • Michael Hebb talked about founding Death Over Dinner. Listen here.
  • Joe Primo of Good-Grief.org discussed helping children with grief and how to include them in the experience of death and dying. Listen here.

For 2019 I’ll still be focusing on education as the primary goal of EOLU along with collaboration with other change-makers and this unifying message:

Let’s do dying and death better!

  • A Year of Reading Dangerously will continue! View the book list here.
  • There will be another workshop on How to Teach a Death and Dying Class (stay tuned to future podcasts for more information)
  • More webinars (TBD)
  • Speaking engagements (announcements coming soon)

Thank you for listening to the podcast and for leaving reviews on iTunes (they make a big difference!)

Tune in every week for a new episode! Until next time remember:

Face Your Fear         BE Ready          Love Your Life

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End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 171 The Best Gift You Can Give Your Family This Holiday Season

Learn how planning ahead and being ready for the unexpected can be a special gift for your loved ones this year.

PodcastEOLplans

 

During the holidays we all want to find the perfect gift for our family members that will show them our love and bring joy to their lives. But face it … in this age of consumerism most people already have more possessions than they need and we have sadly littered our planet with excessive material goods that no one wants or can use. Here’s an idea for a gift you can give now that will bring peace of mind and relief to your loved ones some day in the future: plan ahead for the end of your life, gather your most important documents, and have a conversation with the people closest to you about your wishes. 

Download the Checklist for this episode here: 

BE Ready

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Support this podcast on Patreon.com/eolu with a small monthly contribution. Thank you to my latest patron Jensen A! Your generosity is much appreciated!

View the latest webinar with Jane Barton: Collaborative Care for Caregivers – How to Ask for Help at this link:

Collaborative Care Webinar

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

Creating an end-of-life file that contains all of your most important documents along with your wishes for healthcare and after-death care is a task that will benefit you as well as your loved ones in the future. You will be saving them from a great deal of stress and frustration if they won’t have to search for your papers or guess what you might want for yourself  when you reach the end of life. Why not use the holiday season as a motivator to complete your file and offer as a gift of love to your family!

This episode includes:

  • Ideas for storing your documents
  • Why it’s important to gather important information in one place so your loved ones can find it
  • Why you need to complete your advance directive (or living will) and choose a healthcare proxy now rather than later
  • The benefits of planning your funeral and burial in advance
  • How to view end-of-life planning as a gift of love for those who care about you

Links mentioned in this episode:

Tune in next Monday for another new episode. If you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes.

Until next time …

Face Your Fear           BE Ready           Love Your Life

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End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 159 How to Make Difficult End-of-Life Decisions for a Loved One

PodcastDecisions

 

 

purposequestionIn this episode I share my thoughts on how to approach the very difficult task of making an end-of-life decision about the treatment a loved one should receive. Many people are called upon to be decision-makers in these challenging situations and this episode serves as a guide for choosing the best option for someone we love. Download the handout below:

Guide for Difficult EOL Decisions

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

This episode is sponsored by Suzanne O’Brien and her training program for caring for others at the end of life at Doulagivers.com and by your generous donations on my page at Patreon.com/eolu! Join the team and receive special bonuses as a thank-you!

Thank you to all of my patrons and sponsors! Your support means everything to me!

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

Download the handout here:

Guide for Difficult EOL Decisions

Every day families are called upon to make nearly impossible decisions about the type of care a loved one should receive as they near the end of life. Here are some suggestions for how to navigate this challenging situation when there is no advance directive available for guidance:

  • Gather medical information from all healthcare providers involved in care
  • Ask direct questions:
    • What is the diagnosis and what complications have occurred?
    • What is the effectiveness of the recommended treatment?
    • What are the chances for recovery or improvement?
    • Are there side effects from the treatment or will it cause additional suffering?
    • What will happen if treatment is stopped?
    • What would you do if this were your loved one?
  • Get expert advice and guidance from a palliative care team if available in your hospital
  • Remember past conversations with your loved one that might give you clues as to his or her preferences for the end of life
  • Consider the statistics that most Americans prefer to die at home and most do not want aggressive treatment to prolong life in the face of an incurable condition
  • Ask your loved one for guidance by expressing your concern and your desire to make the best decision. Even though your loved one cannot verbalize, they can hear you – listen for any intuitive or “felt” guidance that might come to you about the best choice to make.
  • Be gentle with yourself and recognize that you have done your best in a challenging situation
  • Seek support from others outside your family

Tune in next week for another episode! Share this content with others who might it helpful and consider leaving a review on iTunes.

Until next time …

Face Your Fear        BE Ready         Love Your Life

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End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 155 Writing Your Heart Will on a Mexican Retreat with Reena Lazar and Michelle Pante

Learn how to leave a written legacy for your loved ones and enjoy a retreat in Mexico in the process!

PodcastLazarPante

 

Michelle-ReenaIn this episode I share a conversation with  Michelle Pante and Reena Lazar of Willow, a company that helps people express their personal and healthcare wishes for the future and leave a legacy of the heart for the ones they love. They will share their stories and tell us about an innovative retreat to Mexico they are planning this year – just in time for Dia de los Muertos!

Learn more at willoweol.com!

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

You can still join our online reading group A Year of Reading Dangerously if you’re interested in reading a book each month about death, dying and the afterlife. Register here if you want to receive email notifications each month about the latest book selection. Go here to see the entire book list for 2018.

Thanks as always to my supporters on Patreon.com/eolu! Your monthly donations help keep this podcast and the EOLU interview series on the air. This week my thanks goes out to Suzanne O’Brien and Doulagivers.com for their ongoing support over the past year-and-a-half. If you’d like to join our team sign up at Patreon.com/eolu and receive special bonuses.

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

Today my guests Michelle Pante and Reena Lazar tell us how they started their company Willow and the services they provide to their clients. We talk about:

  • How the two of them decided to team up and create a vision together
  • How Reena uses her conflict resolution training in the work she does now helping people with end-of-life planning
  • Why they chose the name Willow for their company
  • What are “love letters” and “heart wills” and why they encourage people to create them
  • Tips for writing your own heart will
  • Details of the upcoming retreat in Mexico that includes a celebration of the Day of the Dead (you can still get the “early bird” discount of $200 off the price of the retreat if you sign up by August 20th and use the code EOLU)

Learn more about Reena, Michelle and Willow at willoweol.com!

Remember there will be a new episode every Monday – if you enjoy this content please share it with others and consider leaving a review on iTunes!

Until next week …

Face Your Fear            BE Ready            Love Your Life

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End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 139 The One Question You Need to Answer to Jumpstart Your EOL Planning

Learn how answering just one question can simplify your decision-making process for end-of-life planning.

PodcastEOLquestion

slide01In this episode I’ll share how one simple question helped clarify my Mom’s end-of-life wishes and why I recommend starting there to put your own advance care planning into the proper perspective. This episode is sponsored by my course “Step-by-Step Roadmap for End-of-Life Planning.

Learn more about the course here.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

You can still join my online reading group for 2018 “A Year of Reading Dangerously” and read a book each month on death, dying and the afterlife. Sign up here.

Thank you to all of my supporters on Patreon.com/eolu! Your donations mean a lot to me!

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

Putting our wishes for the end of life into writing is more complicated than it seems. We can easily get lost when we start to consider all of the options available and make decisions about what we do or do not want for care during out last days.

When my mother was trying to complete her living we finally found a simple way to clarify what really mattered to her. I asked her to tell me how she wanted it to be when she was taking her last breaths in this life. And she answered right away: “I want to be in my own home with you taking care of me.”

That one question changed everything for us and her answer guided all of the decisions that we made together as a family for the next five years before her death. I have spent time thinking about the one question myself and it is clear to me that the only thing that will really matter to me when I am ready to die is love. I will want to be as near as possible to the people I love.

You can use this one question too:

  • Imagine your last moments of life: how do you want it to be?
  • Describe what you see in positive terms first: Who is with you? Where are you?
  • Keep it simple to avoid being overwhelmed. Just a few details are all you need to describe.
  • Finally add your 2-3 absolute DO-NOT’s to the picture. What do you definitely NOT want to have happen during your last moments? Again – limit the number to those things you feel strongest about. Your family will remember 2-3 requests but not 10-12.

Start talking now about your positive vision for your final moments and let your family know what you envision. When you engage them in your vision they are more likely to help  you create it. They will have had time to think about your vision and to imagine themselves being part of it.

No matter what start thinking about the end of life now. It’s never too soon to get your plans in order! Consider signing up for the Step-by-Step Roadmap for End-of-Life Planning if you’d like to have a doctor by your side as you make decisions for yourself!

Other related episodes you might like to hear:

Ep. 105: Choosing the Right Healthcare Proxy

Ep. 103: The Truth About CPR: Exposing the Myths

Ep. 81: Let’s Talk About It: The Conversation Project with Dr. Jessica McCannon

Remember there will be a new episode next Monday! If you enjoy this content please consider leaving a review on iTunes (Thanks!!).

Until next time …

Face Your Fear            BE Ready             Love Your Life

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End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 136 Art and Conversations About Death with Molly Stuart

Learn about Molly’s innovative workshops on end-of-life planning that utilize art projects to inspire deep conversations.

PodcastStuart

MollyIn this episode I share an interview with Molly Stuart who is a lawyer, artist, chaplain and hospice volunteer. She teaches a wonderful workshop on end-of-life planning that includes art to help people uncover their deepest values and concerns.

Learn more about Molly’s work here.

Watch this episode on YouTube to view Molly’s slides:

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

decisionsignThe month of April features National Healthcare Decisions Day and in honor of that event I am sharing the 10-day S.M.A.R.T. Decisions Challenge – a free challenge that will help you get your end-of-life planning done with guidance along the way by email.

Click here to learn more and sign up.

 

You can still sign up for A Year of Reading Dangerously if you’d like to read one book a month with us about death and dying! Sign up here.

Slide01

Get the Teaching Guidelines for a Death & Dying Class and you’ll be on the list to hear about upcoming Work Groups and a Mastermind Group for Death and Dying Class teachers. Download the guidelines here.

 

Thank you to my latest supporter on Patreon.com/eolu: Kathy Lynch and thanks also to Cathy Duke for increasing your pledge! I’m so grateful for your contributions!

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

My guest Molly Stuart shares information about her innovative end-of-life planning workshops. We discuss:

  • How she got interested in teaching about end of life issues
  • The complicated nature of advance care planning
  • The 3-part workshop she designed, which includes:
    • Practical end-of-life medical and legal issues
    • Emotional aspects of living while knowing you’re going to die
    • Transformation and legacy
  • How Molly uses art to address:
    • Loss
    • Meaning
    • Regret
    • Legacy
  • The creative projects her students create as part of her workshops
  • How to create a legacy art project after the death of a loved one

Remember to tune in every Monday for a new episode and if you enjoy this content please subscribe and leave a review on iTunes!

Until next time …

Face Your Fear         BE Ready            Love Your Life

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Aging, End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 135 How to Practice Minimalism at the End of Life

Learn how a minimalist lifestyle can help you find more joy and meaning as you approach the later days of life.

podcastminimalism

minimalistIn this episode I share my thoughts on why the minimalist lifestyle could help us avoid excessive and unnecessary medical treatment at the end of life. In addition there are many other benefits to living simply and with “less is more” as our goal when we get older.

Read the companion blog here.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

You can still join A Year of Reading Dangerously and confront your own discomfort about death, dying and the afterlife by reading one “dangerous” book each month in 2018! Sign up here!

Slide01

Get the Teaching Guidelines for a Death & Dying Class and you’ll be on the mailing list to learn about the next class on creating your own course in death and dying coming up soon! Sign up and download here!

 

I’m so grateful this week to my latest supporters on Patreon.com/eolu! Thank you so much to Glenda Myles, Malynda Cress, Karen Britton, Mila Martin, and Tami Yinger! Your generosity means so much to me! If you want to join them go to Patreon.com/eolu to learn more about the bonuses you’ll receive for signing up!

FEATURE PRESENTATION:

The minimalist movement is all the rage right now among millennials and it has a lot of positive aspects we can learn from. The emphasis is on living simply, with less material possessions in order to have more joy and freedom in life. This lifestyle could serve us well as we approach our own end of life. Here are some ways to live more simply:

  • Clear out possessions that you no longer use or cherish. This idea has been described in a recent blog and book about the Swedish practice of “death-cleaning.”
  • Comes to terms with mortality. Recognize that life is finite and death is inevitable, therefore it is important to be intentional about how you live each moment in every day, including what kind of healthcare you choose.
  • Take control over your healthcare – be proactive and question recommendations in these areas:
    • Medications – Ask if the drugs you are taking are still necessary, if they could be causing side effects or creating negative interactions with one another. Ask if you can try reducing dosages or the number of medications you are being prescribed. Many seniors are taking at least 5 prescription medications according to studies.
    • Annual examstudies show that the annual physical exam wastes money and time and might even be harmful. Ask if you can decrease to one physical every 3 yeats.
    • Health screenings – Over age 70 it is no longer recommended that you have the following screening tests: colonoscopy, mammogram, PSA, pap smear. Studies show that excessive screening can lead to false positive results, over-diagnosis and harmful over-treatment.
  • Plan ahead and be prepared in order to minimize complications in these areas:
    • Aging – How will you manage the physical changes of later life? Who will help you?
    • Housing – Where will you live if you can’t stay in your own home?
    • Terminal care – What type of treatment do you want to receive at the end of life and for how long?
    • After-death care – What type of funeral and burial do you want to have?
  • Learn to live in the moment – so you can enjoy all of life.
  • Focus on what really matters – to help you eliminate the things you no longer care about.
  • Find purpose and meaning by living simply and with intention for the rest of your days.

Remember to tune in every Monday for a new episode! If you enjoy this content please subscribe and leave a review on iTunes!

Until next week remember …

Face Your Fear           BE Ready          Love Your Life

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End of Life, EOLPodcast, Hospice

Ep. 109 Twenty Years of “Dying Well” – A Conversation with Ira Byock, MD

Learn from palliative care thought leader Dr. Ira Byock how end-of-life care has changed over the past 2 decades since his book “Dying Well” was published.

PodcastByock

IralaughingIn this episode I share a recent interview with Dr. Ira Byock that celebrates the 20th anniversary of his book Dying Well and features his wise perspective on end-of-life care “then and now.”

Learn more about Dr. Byock at www.irabyock.org.

Get Dying Well at Amazon or Barnes & Noble

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAAs you listen to this broadcast I am currently in Italy–traveling and doing research for my new book on grief (also eating … a lot!) This episode has been pre-recorded (along with several others) so that there will be no interruptions in the podcast. If you want to see photos of my journey follow me on Instagram or Facebook.

Patreonbecome2xThis podcast is generously sponsored by donations on my page at Patreon.com/eolu. Thank you to all of my patrons–your support means everything to me!! Submit your questions for the next “Hospice Happy Hour” Q&A Session here and I’ll answer them next month. You can become a patron for just $1 or $2 per month and you’ll receive access to the Q&A recordings, the Top 10 Interviews from EOLU, and the opportunity to have your work promoted on this podcast. Go to Patreon.com/eolu to learn more!

FEATURED PRESENTATION:

Read the transcript of this interview here:

EOLU17Byock

In this interview I will talk with Dr. Ira Byock about his groundbreaking book Dying Well: The Prospect for Growth at the End of Life which was published in 1997. We discuss:

  • How he first got interested in hospice care during his residency training
  • What inspired him to write Dying Well
  • How writing the book helped him heal his own grief over his father’s death
  • Changes he has seen in hospice and palliative care over the past 20 years (“the good, the bad, and the ugly”)
  • Where we should be focusing our efforts now to continue to improve the end of life for everyone
  • The upcoming Symposium on Palliative Care, Pain Management and Whole Person Care where Dr. Byock will be a presenter
  • Where to purchase Dying Well

Download the Readers Discussion Guide for Dying Well here.

Dr. Ira Byock is a leading palliative care physician, author, and public advocate for improving care through the end of life. He is the Founder and Chief Medical Officer for the Institute for Human Caring of Providence St. Joseph Health.

Tune in every Monday for a new episode of the podcast! If you enjoy this content please take a moment to leave a review on iTunes – it will help other listeners find the podcast.

Meanwhile remember ….

Face Your Fears.                       BE Ready.                      Love Your Life.

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End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 105 Choosing the Right Healthcare Proxy

Learn how to make the best choice for an advocate for your end-of-life wishes.

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In this episode I discuss the importance of choosing the right person to be your healthcare advocate. This might be the most important decision you will make regarding your end-of-life wishes, so choose wisely!

Read the companion blog to this podcast here.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

In this episode I reference two previous interviews where the importance of the healthcare proxy and the problems with paper advance directives were discussed:

Listen to the interview with Dr. Ira Byock here.

Listen to the interview with Dr. Fred Mirarchi here.

Patreonbecome2xAs always, donations to the EOLU Podcast fund at Patreon.com/eolu are greatly appreciated! A huge THANK YOU to all current patrons–you make this podcast and the EOL University Interview Series possible. Become a patron and receive gifts and bonuses by going to Patreon.com/eolu.

Follow my trip to Italy this fall on Pinterest or Instagram! I’ll be taking a pilgrimage and writing about grief along with doing a bike trip to Puglia!

FEATURED PRESENTATION:

Tune in to this episode to learn:

  • What is a healthcare proxy
  • Why it’s important to choose the right person as your healthcare proxy
  • The responsibilities of a proxy
  • How to choose the best person for this job
  • Next steps to make it legal

Download Guidelines for a Healthcare Proxy here.

Tune in to a new episode every Monday (even when I’m in Italy!) And be sure to leave reviews for this podcast on iTunes to make sure others can find it. Click here to find the iTunes page.

Until next week remember…

Face Your Fears.                    BE Ready.                   Love Your Life.

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End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 81 Let’s Talk About It: The Conversation Project with Dr. Jessica McCannon

Find out how The Conversation Project is helping families talk about planning ahead for the end of life.

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Jess McCannon HeadshotIn this episode we’ll hear about the work of  The Conversation Project from an advisor to the organization, ICU physician Dr. Jessica McCannon. Learn how to utilize this excellent tool to get your own conversations started.

Get more info at TheConversationProject.org

ANNOUNCEMENTS: 

COLORADO LISTENERS!! You can download a special version of The Conversation Starter Kit that has been customized just for Coloradans. This version is a little shorter and includes a place where you can name your Medical Durable Power of Attorney. Visit this website to download your copy now:

http://TheConversationProjectinBoulder.org

death-afterlifesummit

You can still sign up for the Death & Afterlife Summit, which takes place March 16-18, 2017. You’ll be able to learn from 10 experts about dying, death and beyond in this series of online interviews–and it’s totally FREE! Go to eoluniversity.com/afterlife to learn more and register.

slide01If you’d like some guidance in completing your own advance directives, check out the Step-by-Step Roadmap to End-of-Life Planning–my NEW online self-directed course that will help you prepare and plan for your later years.

Learn more and sign up here.

 

IN THE NEWS:

The Huntsville Hospital in Huntsville AL has started a unique pilot program that places a hospice nurse in the Emergency Department 3 days a week. The RN meets with patients and families and educates them about end-of-life options to help in their decision-making processes. She also helps them complete advance directives and other documents needed for their hospitalization.

THE CONVERSATION PROJECT:

Join Dr. Karen Wyatt and her special guest Dr. Jessica McCannon, ICU physician and advisor to The Conversation Project, a non-profit organization dedicated to helping people talk about their wishes for end-of-life care. They will discuss The Conversation Project, the history and goals of this organization, and how their resources can benefit you, your loved ones or your patients when making plans for the end-of-life.

You will learn:

  • How and why The Conversation Project was started
  • The value of telling stories about the end-of-life
  • Benefits of The Conversation Starter Kit and The Pediatric Starter Kit
  • How doctors might utilize The Conversation Starter Kit

Dr. Jessica McCannon is board-certified in internal medicine, and completed Harvard’s Clinical and Research Fellowship in Pulmonary and Critical Care Medicine. After completing her internal medicine residency training at Massachusetts General Hospital, she began providing care to adults at the Mass General Hospital Down Syndrome Program. Prior to starting medical training she received her BA from Cornell University. Dr. McCannon currently practices clinical medicine as an ICU physician and serves as an advisor to The Conversation Project.

supportonpatreon-e1412764908776Tune in each Monday for a new episode. If you are interested in supporting the podcast and the End-of-Life University Interview Series you can make a small contribution of just $1 or $2 a month and help keep us on the air! Go to Patreon.com/eolu to learn more!

Until next week remember ….

Face Your Fears.                 BE Ready.                    Love Your Life.

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End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 79 The Death-Positive Mindset: How to Create and Share It

The term “death-positive” is everywhere these days. But what does it mean and how do we spread this mindset through our society?

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In this episode I’ll share thoughts from a recent blog post about how to make sure your own death mindset  is clear and free of hidden wounds. These simple practices will help you stay on track as you do your work in the world.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

slide01The Step-by-Step Roadmap for End-of-Life Planning Course is now available if you need any help with your own advance care planning paperwork. You can learn more at this link:

http://www.eoluniversity.com/roadmap

 

death-afterlifesummitRegister now for the Death & Afterlife Summit, which will talk place on March 16-18, 2017. You’ll be able to hear presentations from 10 speakers on dying, death and beyond for FREE. Replays will be available if you can’t attend live. Learn more and register at this link: http://www.eoluniversity.com/afterlife

IN THE NEWS:

A Dutch nursing home is offering college students free rent in exchange for spending 30 hours per month with residents of the home. The students teach the elders how to use technology and get valuable experience connecting with the older generation. The expected benefits for the residents are decreased dementia symptoms, decreased loneliness and isolation, and increased life expectancy. A similar study is being conducted in the UK where students read poetry to nursing home residents, which has led to improved memory skills. We need programs like this in the US!

THE DEATH-POSITIVE MINDSET:

Read the original article here.

In order to help our society achieve a death-positive mindset we must tend to our thoughts and personal awareness of death. Even though we may work with the deaths of others on a daily basis, we can still be in denial of our own mortality. Here are some steps to take to ensure that your own death mindset is as free as possible of denial and fear:

  • Address your fears of death. Learn to live with your fear but not be controlled by it.
  • Explore your past experiences of grief. Process your old, unhealed losses and gradually work to release the pain you carry.
  • Challenge your misperceptions about death. Stop seeing death as sorrowful and learn to see that death can be both beautiful and tragic.
  • Change your language. Free yourself of “tragic-speak” and use non-negative language when describing death. Beware of overly positive platitudes as well, such as “It’s for the best” or “He’s in a better place.” Allow others to experience their own emotions about death without judging or amplifying their pain.
  • Think about death every day. Cultivate a daily death-awareness practice to stay mindful of how precious life is and to remember to make the most of every moment.

Do your work with an open mind and heart and help spread a death-positive mindset wherever you go.

supportonpatreon-e1412764908776If you’d like to support this podcast, go to Patreon.com/eolu to donate $1 or $2 per month.

Thank you to current patrons! Your support is greatly appreciated.

 

Tune in every Monday for a new episode and until next week remember:

Face Your Fears.               BE Ready.                 Love Your Life.

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End of Life, EOLPodcast

SPECIAL EPISODE: Extreme Measures in the ICU with Dr. Jessica Zitter

Learn how ICU and Palliative Care Physician Dr. Jessica Zitter is changing the culture of critical care medicine in America.

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jessicazitterMy guest Dr. Jessica Zitter, MD, MPH, is committed to changing the current paradigm of end-of-life medical decision-making. In today’s medical culture, the dying are often put on what she calls the “End-of-Life Conveyor Belt.” They are intubated, catheterized, and die attached to machines, frequently without even knowing they are dying.

 

In her work, Zitter builds bridges between patients and the healthcare team, striving to offer care aligned with each patient’s values and preferences. She has come to see that patients empowered with knowledge can die well, even beautifully.

Dr. Zitter practices the unusual combination of Critical and Palliative Care medicine at Highland Hospital, a public hospital in Oakland, California. She attended Stanford University and Case Western Reserve University Medical School and earned her Masters in Public Health from University of California, Berkeley. Her medical training includes an Internal Medicine residency at the Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston and a fellowship in Pulmonary/Critical Care at the University of California, San Francisco. She is also co-founder of Vital Decisions, a telephone-based counseling service for patients with life-limiting illness.

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Dr. Zitter is the author of the new book, Extreme Measures – Finding a Better Path to the End of Life, published by Penguin Random House in February 2017. She is a regular contributor to The New York Times on these issues, and her writing has appeared in The Atlantic, The Huffington Post, Pacific Standard, and JAMA, The Journal of the American Medical Association. She is featured in the short documentary Extremis, which won top honors at the Tribeca and San Francisco International Film Festivals, has been nominated for an Academy Award, and is now streaming on Netflix.

Purchase Extreme Measures here.

This interview will cover:

  • How Dr. Zitter became aware of the need for a culture shift in critical care medicine
  • How our life-saving technology has become a nightmare for some patients
  • The changes needed in medical education to help physicians provide better end-of-life care to patients
  • How patients and their loved ones can prepare for end-of-life decision-making
  • Advice for choosing the best healthcare proxy

Learn more about Dr. Zitter’s work:

Website: www.jessicazitter.com

Facebook:  www.facebook.com/jessicazitter

Twitter: www.twitter.com/JessicaZitter

Be sure to tune in every Monday for the regular weekly episodes of the EOLU Podcast and until then remember:

Face Your Fears.                       BE Ready.                    Love Your Life.

End of Life, EOLPodcast

Ep. 78 Change Happens: How to be Prepared for the Ultimate Transition

What does it take to be ready and at peace when you reach the end of life? Here are some thoughts on how to prepare.

 

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In this episode we’ll take a look at what you need to do to prepare for the future, particularly the end of life. You’ll find out how to BE Ready for whatever life brings your way!

ANNOUNCEMENT:

slide01The Roadmap for End-of-Life Planning Course is finally available! Click here to learn more.

This 4-module course is like having your own personal consultation with an end-of-life physician (me!) who guides you through completing your paperwork one step at a time!

Check it out!

supportonpatreon-e1412764908776This podcast is sponsored through the EOLU donation page at Patreon.com/eolu. By contributing just $1 or $2 per month you can help support the podcast and the End-of-Life University Interview Series. If you  become a supporter I will happily promote your book, website, cause or organization on a future episode of the podcast! THANK YOU to my latest patron Sylvie and to all current patrons!!

IN THE NEWS:

  1. Facebook announces it will offer employees up to 20 days of paid bereavement leave and 6 weeks of paid leave to care for an ill loved one.
  2. A study done by U of Colorado Anschutz showed that oncologists are reluctant to have conversations with patients about their prognosis and patients seem equally unwilling to discuss the difficult facts about their diagnosis. This demonstrates the need for better preparation for the end of life BEFORE the onset of a life-limiting illness.

Change Happens: How to be Prepared for the Ultimate Transition

17153795 - are you ready illustration design over a white backgroundWhat steps should you take now to be fully prepared for later life? I like to break them down into 3 categories: Paperwork, People, and Purpose.

Here are some suggestions for your own preparations:

  1. Paperwork:
  • Make sure you have completed an estate plan and/or will to protect your financial assets
  • Appoint someone to be your financial power of attorney AND a separate  person as your medical power of attorney
  • Complete your advance directive (or living will)
  • Plan for your funeral and burial
  • Gather important documents, account numbers, passwords, etc. into on file where they will be accessible in the future (Check out the BE Ready Checklist for a list of all these documents you should gather)

2. People:

  • Tie up “loose ends” in your life by practicing forgiveness
  • Make amends with the people closest to you
  • Say “I love you” whenever you have the opportunity
  • Talk with your loved ones about your healthcare wishes
  • Talk with your doctors (and also spiritual advisor or attorney if relevant) about your end-of-life wishes
  • Be prepared to care for an ill or dying loved one at home if that should become necessary

3. Purpose:

  • Think about your own sense of meaning and purpose in life–are you living life fully in each moment?
  • Practice being present in the moment by taking up mindfulness or using deep breathing
  • Recognize that your purpose is not really something you hope to accomplish in the future; it lies in how you live your life each moment
  • Face your fear of death so that you can fully prepare and then relax and enjoy all that your life offers to you

Click here to download the End-of-Life Preparedness Assessment to see if you are ready!

Tune in every Monday for a new episode. Until the next time, remember:

Face Your Fears.                     BE Ready.                Love Your Life.

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EOLPodcast, Hospice, Spirituality

Ep. 77 Managing Family Conflict at the End of Life

What do you do when a family (your own or a patient’s) is crumbling due to unhealed resentments and irreconcilable differences? Find out now.

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In today’s episode I’ll share my best tips for helping families move through conflict toward resolution during stressful times like the death of a loved one. I’ve had lots of experience with this work during my years as a hospice doctor so be prepared for a longer-than-usual episode!

Announcements:

slide01My new course Step-by-Step Roadmap for End-of-Life Planning is almost ready for release (just a few days away as I record this!) The course is simple yet comprehensive and will help you examine your mindset, values, beliefs, and fears about death before you make decisions about your end-of-life healthcare. Go to eoluniversity.com/roadmap to learn more and sign up to be notified as soon as the course is released.

Sponsorship:

supportonpatreon-e1412764908776This podcast is sponsored through the EOLU donation page at Patreon.com/eolu. By contributing just $1 or $2 per month you can help support the podcast and the End-of-Life University Interview Series. If you  become a supporter I will happily promote your book, website, cause or organization on a future episode of the podcast! THANK YOU to all current patrons!!

Managing Family Conflict at the End of Life:

Families facing the death of a loved one are particularly prone to be divided by the resurgence of old conflicts and resentments. Over my years as a hospice doctor I have seen many families split apart by their differences at a time when they most need to be united.

Most of these families had longstanding grievances that had been buried and ignored over the years, only to rise to the surface under the stress of a loved one’s death. Sibling rivalries, parental favoritism, divorce, and competition for inheritances are the most common reasons for these resentments. In addition many families are also divided over religious and political differences, which is an especially prevalent problem right now.

One of the important functions of hospice staff members and other end-of-life workers is to assist splintered families with healing and resolution of their conflicts, whenever possible. But sometimes we are called to assist our own families when challenges arise. Here are some tips for being a peacemaker for a fractured family:

  • Remain neutral on the issues of conflict. As much as possible leave your own biases, preferences and beliefs at the door if you hope to help resolve a disagreement. This will be much easier if you are not emotionally entangled in the conflict. But even if you are, you need to learn to become a “Witness” to the situation (a higher state of consciousness that allows you remain detached.)
  • Listen to all sides of the argument. Spend time with each person involved in the conflict until you can grasp their perspective. If you are part of the disagreement then at least try to understand the point of view of the others involved in the situation. As soon as you begin to understand how and why the others feel the way they do then you have taken a huge step toward reconciliation.
  • Avoid trigger topics. Political and religious differences may complicate family conflicts at the end of life but are usually not reconcilable. So it is best to “agree to disagree” about these points of view and set them aside so that the focus can be on healing other issues.
  • Be present. By staying calm and unemotional you can prevent the conflict from escalating into an all-out war. Practice mindfulness to help strengthen your ability to be present so that your own emotions don’t flare up when you are trying to help others.
  • Find common ground. As you listen carefully to the stories of each opponent in the disagreement you may recognize certain common threads–areas where they actually share the same perspective without realizing it. Gather these threads so that you can remind those in conflict that are some things they have in common. Help them untie around the things that matter most (like doing what’s best for their loved one.)
  • Learn the wishes of the dying loved one (if possible.) If you can still communicate with the patient you may find out that she has a wish for her family to reconcile. You can use this wish to help draw the combatants together in their desire to please and comfort the one they love. Let the patient’s wishes become a “magnet” around which the rest of the family gradually comes together.
  • Have patience. Don’t try to force a reconciliation by rushing into a family conference or intervention. Allow for some separation initially and let the gaps between individuals gradually begin to close.

The bottom line is that families who don’t wait until the end of life to resolve their differences have a much easier time negotiating the challenges of death and dying. But that’s not the case for most families. Most are left to rehash old sibling issues, betrayals, disappointments, and wounds during the last days of their loved one’s life when they should be sitting at the bedside offering love and comfort.

Start working through your own resentments now–practice love and forgiveness earlier in life and your final days will be blessed. If you need extra help consider checking out the Step-by-Step Roadmap for End-of-Life Planning or the book What Really Matters. You’ll find guidance and support from me for your journey!

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Tune in every Monday for a new episode! Until next week remember:

Face Your Fears.                 BE Ready.                   Love Your Life.

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